


Only In New York

by martianwahtney



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Absolute Peak Dumbass Boys, Conspiracy Theories, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes Is A Dork, Jousting, Laundromat Shenanigans, M/M, THEY ARE FOOLES, The Cardinal Sin of Dog-Earring A Book, Tony Stark is a dork, Trapped In A Laundromat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24086215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martianwahtney/pseuds/martianwahtney
Summary: Where Tony and Rhodey get trapped in a laundromat and things devolve from there, featuring Jurassic Park, conspiracy theories, and jousting, but not necessarily in that order.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark
Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598119
Comments: 19
Kudos: 68
Collections: IronHusbands, Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	Only In New York

**Author's Note:**

> we watched Dr. Horribles Sing Along Blog during a staycation in wi and i thought,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, wow what if tony and rhodey were trapped in a laundromat,,,,,,,,,,,, and here we are
> 
> Card: #3020

“Laundry day,” Tony murmured quietly, dumping some detergent into the washer.

“See you there,” 

Across the store he glanced at the young man who was, shockingly, also doing his laundry. Tony had seen him a few times. He was cute, dark skin, dark eyes and one of the handsomest guys Tony had ever seen in his whole life.

“Under things, tumbling,” he continued.

No matter how hard he tried he always ended up singing that song when he was at the laundromat. He hummed softly under his breath and shut the lid of the washing machine, set the cycle, and started the machine. He sat down against the washer, dug around in his backpack and pulled out a book he was supposed to be reading for one of his bullshit English classes.

While the class was complete bullshit, the book, however, was not. His professor had assigned them Jurassic Park and Tony actually really liked it. He had just gotten to the third iteration when a jangling noise broke his concentration. He pushed himself to his feet and looked over at the door to find the other laundry man shaking the doors. It took Tony far longer than he’d admit to realize why the hell the guy was jangling the doors like that.

The doors weren’t opening. Why weren’t they opening? That was the primary function of doors- to fucking open!

“Are we locked in?” Tony asked.

The laundry guy turned to him, a frown on his face and Tony found he was absolutely incorrect in his opinion of laundry guy. He wasn’t  _ one of _ the most handsomest guys Tony had ever seen, he was simply  _ the most _ handsome guy Tony had ever seen- hands down, no competition. 

“Yes?”

The question/statement filled Tony with dread. As handsome as laundry man was, Tony wasn’t overly pleased with the idea of being locked in a fucking laundromat until god knows when. He dog-eared the page of the book he was on and set it on top of his washer before he headed over to the door. He grabbed the handle and tried to push and pull on it.

“You think I don’t know how to open a door?”

“Maybe the door is a dick and only opens for the second person to try it,” Tony said with a shrug.

“Is there another way out?”

“Probably, I don’t remember seeing anyone leave,” Tony said, squinting at the door. Why was the fucking door locked?

Laundry guy set his basket down and headed toward the back of the store while Tony tried the jangle the door open a few more times. It wouldn’t budge. 

“Locked back here too!” he heard laundry guy call.

“You wouldn’t happen to know how to pick a lock, would you?”

“I think I left my lock picking kit at home,” Tony replied as laundry guy came back into view.

“Is that a bad joke?”

Tony shot him a look.

“Shockingly no. I wasn’t expecting to get locked in a laundromat today so I left it in my dorm,” Tony replied.

“Is there anything here you can use?”

The question prompted them to go on a scavenger hunt for at least two small, thin rods that Tony could use to pick a lock so they could get out of the building. Their scavenger hunt shockingly failed.

“We could call someone,” Tony offered.

“Who?”

“The… I dunno, cops?”

“Is this an emergency then?”

“So we call the non-emergency line?”

The two looked at each other for a moment before laundry guy pulled his phone out of his pocket. He tapped on the screen a few times before holding the phone up to his ear. Tony returned to his book to allow laundry guy to speak to the dispatcher in peace. It took less than a paragraph for Tony to lose himself in the book, it really was a damn good book.

“They said that they would get in touch with the owner and then get back to us,” laundry guy said, drawing Tony’s mind away from the book and back to the situation they were in.

“So we’re stuck here?”

“For now,”

Tony cussed quietly before returning his attention to his book. It was starting to get real dicy for everyone at Jurassic Park.

“I’m uh, James Rhodes, by the way,” laundry guy said suddenly.

“Tony Stark,”

Rhodes shot him a quizzical smile.

“Where the hell did Tony Stark learn how to pick a lock?”

“I got bored one day and wanted to piss my dad off, so I learned,” Tony replied, using his finger to keep his page in the book.

“Why would learning how to pick locks piss your dad off?” 

“Because he thinks I’ll use it for illegal and generally naughty purposes,” Tony responded, a smile tugging at his lips.

“And do you?”

“Promise you won’t tell him?”

Rhodes offered out his pinky, with his free hand Tony wrapped his pinky around his new friends.

“I pick the locks in Howards file cabinets and rearrange everything,” Tony admitted as they dropped their hands.

“I can’t believe you’re not in a supermax,”

Tony laughed at that.

“Shocking,” he agreed with a grin.

Rhodey’s phone rang suddenly and he pulled it out of his pocket to answer it.

“Hello?”

“This is he,”

Tony could hear a tinny voice coming from Rhodey’s phone but he couldn’t make out what the dispatcher was saying.

“I completely understand, we’ll be fine,” Rhodes said.

“What’d they say?” Tony asked the second Rhodes got off the phone.

“The owner’s wife went into labor and because we’re not in immediate harm or danger we just have to wait for him to come back,” 

Tony hummed in response to that, unsure of what else he could say. He was stuck in a laundromat with a very cute guy for the foreseeable future. There were far worse places to get stuck.

Tony sat back down against the washer and cracked open his book. He spent the next few hours submerged in the world of foolish rich men, dinosaurs, and two supremely kick ass paleo-pals. He stopped only twice, once to transfer his clothes from the washer to the dryer, and a second time to pull his clothes from the dryer and fold them before setting them in his laundry basket. Then it was right back to his book.

Once he finished the book, however, it took him all of two minutes to get bored and start looking around the laundromat for something to do. After finding nothing but, shockingly, washing machines and dryers upon his initial scan, he decided to look again. Yes there were a lot of washers and dryers but there was also a metal table so customers could fold their laundry, and there were tall laundry carts with wheels on them-  _ tall laundry carts with wheels on them _ .

Tony clambered into a laundry cart and maneuvered himself around so he was facing Rhodes. 

“I challenge ye to a joust,” Tony announced, pointing directly at Rhodes. 

Rhodes looked up from the notebook in his hands, a tiny smile on his face. 

“Me?” he asked. 

“Ye,” Tony affirmed. 

Rhodes stares at him for a moment before he blinked, the smile growing on his face.

“And what exactly are we going to joust with?” he asked as he clambered into his own laundry cart. 

“Didn’t think that far ahead,” Tony admitted. 

Rhodes twisted his cart around so he was facing Tony. 

“I say we just aim for each other and hope for the best,”

“A ‘pick a god and pray’ situation,” Rhodes said with a nod. 

“Well if you want to get dramatic about it,”

“Tones we’re about to joust using wheeled laundry carts,”

“Touché,”

“Ready, Tones?”

“Only if you are, honey bear,” Tony challenged.

“Three,”

“Two,”

“One!”

The only sound he heard was a loud metallic  _ clang _ and the next thing Tony knew he was colliding bodily with the floor.

“Fuck!”

“Fuck,” Rhodes agreed.

They laid there for a while in silence, paying the price for their hubris with the pain of landing on a hard linoleum floor. 

“So what made you think that was a good idea?” Rhodes asked, not bothering to move from the floor.

“Well these were the only things in here aside from the washers and dryers,” Tony replied, also not bothering to move from the floor.

“Washers and dryers? Here? In a laundromat? Who woulda thought?” Rhodes teased.

Tony snorted. The silence that ensued was comfortable so Tony felt no shame at all in pulling his phone out and scrolling through a few apps. When he glanced at Rhodes next he found his new friend was doing the same thing. Tony smiled softly and returned his attention to his own phone.

Tony laughed at the meme on his phone and turned his head to see if there was a way he could show Rhodes without moving, when he found there was none he frowned.

“What’s your number? I want to send you this,” Tony said.

Rhodes instantly rattled off his number and Tony sent him the post.

“You could have just shown me,” Rhodes stated.

“And move from this comfortable place on the floor? I think not,”

Rhodes let out a sharp laugh at either Tony’s response or the post he had just sent. Whatever the reason was, Tony was starting to really like Rhodey’s laugh.

“The moon being fake fits in well with the theory that stars are just holes poked in the container so we can breathe,” Rhodes stated.

“Which fits in well with the ‘small, close moon’ theory,” Tony agreed.

“You’re right,”

There was a jangling sound from somewhere above them and they both craned their necks to watch a man walk through the front door.

“I’m so-” he started to say before stopping dead at the sight of them sprawled on the floor with the laundry carts.

“Are you two alright?”

“Holy shit platypus we’re free!”

They both scrambled to their feet and righted the fallen laundry carts. Tony could already tell he was going to have an ugly bruise on his thigh but that didn’t matter because the doors had been unlocked and they could fucking leave!

“Thanks for coming back for us. Congrats on the baby!” Tony said with a wide grin as Rhodey clapped the guy’s back.

“Thanks…?”

“So platypus,” Tony started.

“Where did that come from?” Rhodes asked.

“Oh I have no shortage of nicknames for you, sour patch,”

“I’m not sour!”

Tony grinned at his indignant response.

“You want some food? There’s a good burger place a few blocks away,” Tony said.

‘Sounds good, Tones. It’s a date,”

“Only in New York, right?” Tony joked as he picked up his basket of clothes, hoping the action did something to hide the blush on his cheeks.

Rhodes shot him a confused look, his own basket balanced on his hip.

“Tones we’re in Boston,”

“Fuck,”

**Author's Note:**

> [narrator voice: they were not in new york](http://www.lronhusbands.tumblr.com/)


End file.
